Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Frustrated, Inspired, and Plodding Along

My husband Brian bought me three books for Christmas, and I've been reading and adding them to my growing collection of books about Sudan. "God Grew Tired of Us" is my most recent read. Written by a very intelligent man who grew up in the Sudan and lost his family at the age of thirteen when his village was attacked, this is a true story of unbelievable courage, hope, and determination. I don't know anybody who could endure the kinds of trauma that John did and still become a high functioning, intelligent, action oriented adult. It's hard to comprehend how some people overcome so terribly much while others of us feel bogged down by the slightest of life's hardships.

This is still all about conflict, people starving, suffering, and trying to survive. That's what this whole fundraiser is about- doing my part as a privileged Westerner with so much to give who often (always, usually, constantly) falls into the selfish, greedy culture all around me.

But I am frustrated. My laptop has been giving me trouble, and so I finally got it to the "doctor" to get it cleaned up. I was excited about being able to finally dump my pictures, get busier on my etsy shop, and get selling and fundraising again. But I'm still having problems. For some mysterious reason, the laptop and Brian's desktop both refuse to download photos off my camera. Refuse. All the tricks and flips and special songs and dances that worked in the past will do nothing to move the hearts of these gidgety gadgets. So, yes. I have stock. I have plans. But I keep getting kiboshed.

Also frustrating is trying to find balance in my life. Work has been very, very busy lately. And its an important job that requires all my energy. I have these desires to fulfill for the bags4darfur project, but I simply don't have the hours and the energy at the moment.

I hope you'll all be patient, because I'm not giving up.

Meanwhile, I'll read some more amazing books. Left on my bookshelf:


JaynEryn said...

I'm being patient :) I have too much stuff for my current "darfur" purse, and I hope to get a larger one... I wouldn't want my bags from anywhere else!!

JayP said...

I too am spread too thin and dream of balance. I say YES to everything and have such grand plans, hoping that it will all fall into wanting to do good and right by the world. sigh